Dealing with Criticism
Criticism. No one likes it. Everybody gets it. And we all need to be better at responding to it.
Here to help us with the responding part is Scott Sterner with eight things to think about when criticized:
1. What can I learn?
Though it is humbling to have someone critique your work, it is important to maintain a teachable attitude.
2. Always assume the best
Unless it is substantiated that this is not the case, it is important to always assume that people have good intention when they share their concerns.
3. Validate people’s concerns
In most cases, the person sharing the concern is very sincere. Try your best to “walk in their shoes” and empathize with them.
4. Rebuke when needed
If people are sinning in how they confront (critical spirit, arrogance, etc.), then call them on their sin. If they are complaining about someone else then ask them to take that concern directly to the person before speaking with you.
5. Consider subjectivity
Remember that people’s opinions are often subjective. Sometimes you simply have to agree to disagree.
6. Educate
Often people disagree with a decision because they aren’t aware of all the information that went into making the decision. Do your best to inform them so they can get your perspective on the issue.
7. Empower
Sometimes our strongest critics can become our greatest ally if we get them involved in the process of coming up with solutions. If someone doesn’t like the way a specific ministry operates, then get them involved in a group working to reform or guide that ministry.
8. Let it go
Try your best to not take criticism personally. If our identity is too tied into our work, then we will allow criticism to paralyze us, making us ineffective for the Kingdom. Once you’ve received and learned all you can from criticism, the next step is to move on.
We can either sin in response to criticism (through growing prideful and unyielding) or grow in Christ (through listening to the criticism, responding in humility, searching ourselves, and asking God to use it to His glory and our good). Those are really the only options. It may be that we are in the right, but we should assert that only after we have listened, responded in humility, searched ourselves, and prayed for God’s help and guidance.
HT: Zach
Most of need to work on the giving of criticism as well. For help in that area, I recommend Mark Dever’s post on the 9 Marks blog: The Five Points of Criticism.
1. Directly, not indirectly.
2. Seriously, not humorously.
3. As if it’s important, not casually.
4. Privately, not publicly.
5. Out of love for them, not to express your feeling or frustration.
Check out the whole post for elaboration on those five points. I once read another quote from Dever: “I hug hard so I can hit hard.” His point was that his criticism does not come from one who does not love the person being criticized. Rather, coming from a heart of compassion, concern, and love that has already expressed itself toward the person, he criticizes those who need it.
