Christ Community Church

Scrolling through the Bellingham Herald’s website, I noticed that they have a Domestic Violence Prevention Blog. I decided to check it out.

I did not get far before I found something that made me stop and think. Among the rather helpful articles on how to deal with someone in an abusive relationship was a post entitled “Chris Brown, Rihanna, and Keira Knightley: Celebrities and Domestic Violence.” I am not one to keep up with celebrity culture, but I know who the three people mentioned in the article are and even knew what Chris Brown and Rihanna had to do with domestic violence. Brown and Rihanna were (or, perhaps, still are) in a relationship. Brown was arrested for abusing and threatening Rihanna. Keira Knightley is an actress who recently made a shocking public service announcement against domestic violence, linked from the blog post.

Jenn Mason, the author of the post on the Herald’s site, points out that Brown is not the first celebrity to be outed as an abuser. She mentions Mike Tyson, Sean Penn, Dennis Rodman, and Bobby Brown as those who have also been arrested for abuse or even rape. Then, Mason asks and answers the question, “What happens to these celebrities?”

• Mike Tyson’s first fight after being released from a 3-year prison sentence for a felony rape charge grossed $96 million worldwide and set a record for PPV viewership.
• Sean Penn has been nominated for an Academy Award 5 times (and won twice), all after he was charged with felony domestic assault against Madonna (and after several violent incidents with paparazzi).
• Dennis Rodman appears on Celebrity Apprentice in 2009, months after he is arrested for domestic violence and pleads no contest to spousal battery.
• Bobby Brown gets his own show, “Being Bobby Brown”, 2 years after being arrested and charged for spousal battery.

Her point, implied but not stated, is that this is somehow unfair, as though they are being rewarded for their crimes.

On one hand, I sympathize with Mason. This does scream out, “Injustice!” Actions like spousal abuse leave lasting effects such that the abuser should not, under any circumstances, be celebrated.

On the other hand, I want to say to her, “Welcome to the brave new world of relative ethics.” We have jettisoned all connections to any absolute authority, and now we reap the consequences. A secular culture has nothing that says, “This is wrong and should not be done,” so when things like domestic violence or worse happen, we may have a gut-level reaction against it but we do not know why. Not knowing why, we typically put it out of mind and move on. Then, when the celebrity comes back around, we will have forgotten all about it.

I am not saying that this is right. I am saying that it is how it is. In fact, it is poised to get worse in terms of domestic violence. I read in more than one place after the Chris Brown/Rihanna incident that several young people interviewed about the story were siding with Brown, saying that Rihanna probably did something to deserve it. If this is how teenagers feel about it, what will the moral landscape look like when they grow up and get married? You also have to wonder what those teenagers’ home life looks like.

As Christians, we have the ability and opportunity to speak boldly and reasonably against domestic violence, from several different directions. From one side, we can point to the fact that men and women are made in the image of God and, thus, deserve respect and love as image-bearers. We are not mere wads of meat nor simply evolved animals; we bear the image of God. This makes us worthy of the most loving, respectful, thoughtful, and merciful treatment from one another.

From another side, we can speak to God’s design for marriage. A husband’s model for how to treat his wife is Jesus, who laid down his life for his bride, the church. Thus, abusing his wife should never even enter the mind of a husband, for he is supposed to be prepared, at all times and in every situation, to sacrifice himself for the well-being of his wife.

Moreover, God established the family as a place of love, growth, and worship. If the husband is abusing the wife (or the wife the husband), none of those things can take place.

Domestic violence is, thus, not the intention of God for married life, and, in fact, it works directly against His design. As such, it should be fought against with vigor.

At the same time, Christians have the gospel to offer this world. Jesus came into the world to save sinners, including those who have been abused as well as those who abuse. To the woman who has been abused, we say that Jesus is a husband will never leave nor forsake and that He can save her from her own sin as well as that of her husband. To the man who abuses, we say that Jesus can save him from his temper, his past, and, as is often the case, his own abuse.

Therefore, while we do believe in holding people accountable for their actions, we also believe that, by the power of the gospel being applied by the Spirit, people can truly change and that forgiveness is possible. There is a tension there, no doubt about it, but it is a tension that we must maintain if we are to approach the world in a Christian manner.